There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
