so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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