do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
