weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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