Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
