we're blogging at a bar
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
