I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
