How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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