This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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