Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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