so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
