i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
