If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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