No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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