Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
