so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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