Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
