She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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