The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize