You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
