I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
birth control should be required to get into college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
