Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize