we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We have so much sex to catch up on
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
