I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
