OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
