I must be too annoying 4 u.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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