addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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