thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
