Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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