But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
