i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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