He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
