Pants 0. Shit 1.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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