now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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