Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
