i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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