i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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