I love black thongs
thus making me awesome and them whores
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
