then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
