some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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