im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
