Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize