dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
