Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
