need another drink. this is the easiest way
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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