Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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