Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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