My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
