tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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