You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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