the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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