I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.