You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him