Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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