Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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