I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
