Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I seem to have left my pride at pride
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
