$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
