i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
