he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
