it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
